Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
