I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
whose parrot is this?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
