Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
