you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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