how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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