I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
