i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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