I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize