She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
