Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize