I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
