"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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