I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
