His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
