Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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