I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
