That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
