new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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