I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
