I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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