Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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