Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
