If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How external is "for external use only"?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
