we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
