what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
