thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
