Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
