Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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