So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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