Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
