She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
