Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry my hands just texted you
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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