so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
