why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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