the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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