coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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