I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
