At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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