SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
