Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
