So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
