a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
