ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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