dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
