so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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