Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
