Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
