the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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