Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
