I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
