just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
