we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
