I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
