Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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