he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
