youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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