The maid of honor just puked.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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