i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
