carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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