Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
