There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
