Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
