Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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