he thought i was a dude.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
